Hais. Looks like I'm back to my old style again.
It's killing me really. I don't want any of that sort to happen again.
Please. Why can't I just control myself.
I hate it.

Sometimes, feeling guilty, sad, disappointed, angry, etc ...
Why. I'm only tiring myself. But I just couldn't control.
Yeah, I'm over him. But I treat him that way.
I feel so bad. I don't know what I want.

I wonder if I'm just escaping from reality, or I'm just finding excuses.
Or I'm really afraid of something which I don't know myself also.
This is not what I want. Hais.
What happened to me.